Welcome to Strange, Far, and Fantastical, Inc.’s blog, and the very first post of it. I am writing this because every blog has a first entry, and this is the one that I have written. Is it worthy of a Pulitzer? A Booker? and all the other categories of the National Book Award? It sure is! Damn straight! This blog post is pure blog genius. And when I win all those awards, one of those damn monkeys will have finally finished typing out the complete works of William Shakespeare. LOL!
So who am I, other than a proponent for the Infinite Monkey Theorem? My name is Bill Sawyer, and I am one of the co-founders of Strange, Far, and Fantastical, Inc.
Now, if you are like me, I feel sorry for you. We should probably meet, talk, and share a drink. Or, we can each have our own drinks, I’ll even buy.
But I digress… if you are like me, you are thinking, “WOW! I didn’t know Strange, Far, and Fantastical, Inc. was lost!” No! Sorry, that’s a finder. Not a founder.
Strange, Far, and Fantastical, Inc. is not lost. It knows precisely where it is, so there! I mean it isn’t where it wants to be. It intends to move to a better place, nicer neighbors and streets. But, it is where it is, and that’s my final answer.
So! Now you get it! Per the Oxford Languages dictionary, a founder is,
“a person who manufactures articles of cast metal; the owner or operator of a foundry.”
Wait! What? OH! Bad cut-n-paste on my part, a founder is,
“when (a hoofed animal, especially a horse or pony) succumbs to laminitis.”
Damn it! OK, a founder is,
“a person who establishes an institution or settlement.”
WHEEW! Finally! Since Strange, Far, and Fantastical, Inc. has not, nor does it intend, to purchase land and build homes and apartments, it must be an institution! Or maybe, I just need to be put into an institution.
Hmmm, someone has to supervise all those monkeys… And maybe, I should stop writing sentences that start with so. [Yes, most definitely. You threatened to fire me if I edited them out. – Ed.]
Since I am only a co-founder, you are probably asking yourself, how many others are there? And, was he really able to hoodwink other people into joining him? Well, to the first question, I am not telling. It’s a secret. No way am I telling you the names, addresses, cell phones, email addresses, and blood types of the other two co-founders. Nope! No way! Heck, I won’t say, so don’t ask. I’m definitely not telling you how many. Let’s just say it’s a finite integer value.
Now for those readers who are suddenly traumatized by flashbacks to high school mathematics class with my reference to a finite integer value, I apologize. Who knew that mathematics would show up in a first blog entry? Not me! I’m as surprised as the rest of you. At this point, I’m even shocked I remember what a finite integer is.
As for hoodwinking them, I did no such thing. You would be amazed at what polite requests, heart-felt praise, chocolate, margaritas with good tequila, psychotropic drugs, restraining devices, forced incarceration in reinforced cells, and threats to one’s family and friends can accomplish. At no time was any hoodwinking necessary. All of the alleged hoodwinked parties have sworn to no hoodwinking. Or, at least, there was swearing going on. I’m certain of that. [Yes. Lots of swearing. – Ed.]
So, I co-founded this thing called Strange, Far, and Fantastical, Inc., and now you are reading the first blog. But, why the name? Well, our attorneys, the firm of Dewey Cheatem & Howe LLP, are standing behind me as I type this. They are reminding me that we did form a company. So, we have to use Inc.
As for the easy part, just look at our company’s initials, SF&F. That tells you all you need to know. Our company is petrified of vowels! We didn’t want them anywhere near us. But, we couldn’t figure out how to write without vowels. We tried. We failed. It was our gom jabbar test. So, we have to give up our ambitions of being the Kwisatz Haderach, and we have settled for being a company.
Then! One of the really smart people associated with the company pointed out that SF&F actually matched up with our target market, Science Fiction and Fantasy. DAMN! What a happy coincidence. We should give them credit. But, as I said (or actually I wrote, not said), they are really smart. They made us promise to not tell who they were. Well, that and the iron-clad NDAs we signed, are enough to help us to keep their secret.
At Strange, Far, and Fantastical, Inc., our company vision is simple,
We – an intentional plural. Sharing with others, learning from others, and simply enjoying what others create is all part of what makes us happy. We hope it makes you happy too.
Love – an intentional verb. Everyone who is part of Strange, Far, and Fantastical, Inc. loves one or more aspects of the SF&F community. This is MANDATORY! This is core to who we are. It is part of our organizational DNA. We do not mandate how they have to express their love for SF&F to any particular level or any particular way. Why? Expression is bullshit, and it can be easily faked. You do not have to love any particular segment of SF&F. There are so many segments with such diversity that it would be impossible to specify. It can be a really tiny segment or a really huge one. It can be one segment or many. But, the one question that everyone who works for us answers is, “Tell me about what you love in SF&F.”
Science fiction and fantasy – an intentional object. We don’t intend to cover books in general, or segments like literature. We intend to start and remained laser focused and locked on like a tractor beam to our target market. [Nice, you got the whole laser and tractor beams into the vision. Any chance you can get elves, magic, or something fantasy in it too? Maybe a unicorn? – Ed.] It is no accident or coincidence that our target market of SF&F is also the initials of our company.
Want more – an intentional strategy. The truth is that the markets, both the general market and the SF&F market specifically, are impossible to forecast. There are countless stories of unknowns making it huge (e.g., Andy Weir, The Martian, self-published) and huge flops (e.g., John Carter movie anyone?). We want to grow the market of creators and readers, and then let the market, with its multitude of subsegments, decide what is good and what isn’t. And even then, we do recognize that sleeper hits exist, and content may be appreciated outside of its initial release.
So, stay tuned. We are just getting started. You’ll hear, or read, more from me. You’ll get introduced to the other co-founders. You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll reflect on how much better your life is with SF&F in it, and you’ll commit yourself to getting more.
OK! Maybe you’ll skip all that, and just find a place where you can find the stuff you want, the people you like, the authors you admire, or the community you call your own. We don’t really know yet what you’ll find, and neither do you.
But ain’t exploration grand? Kind of reminds me of shooting wamp… Ooops, my lawyers are “reminding” me that certain large organizations with lots of lawyers and strong trademarks and copyrights are not to be lightly referenced. Be better, I will. See you (or write to you (well, not actually you singular, but you plural (not that we know how many there are or how we can keep nesting parentheses))) soon.